Then we got a trike or maybe even a two wheeler.  Maybe we were old enough to go to the Big Park. Now that was really exciting – we were going places! So much to see and do. Sometimes though, we still climbed in the sandbox, especially if the littler kids seemed to be having fun in there, and they asked us to join them. Not too many months went by though, and when we climbed back in the sandbox, we hoped our new, more mature friends didn’t see us in there.  Sometimes it was enjoyable, but we really started to notice that the sand maybe wasn’t all that clean, and we found the occasional cat turd.  Pretty soon, as we were enjoying our new freedom and the wind in our hair on the bike, with our new friends, we wouldn’t get back in the sandbox for anything.  It’s not that we missed the sandbox. It’s not that we thought the younger kids shouldn’t be in the sandbox. We had just outgrown the sandbox. We were not interested in it anymore.

As people first move into sobriety and new behaviours, the sandbox full of using and drinking friends can still look pretty appealing. It can be very tempting to step back in, get down on your haunches and push the little firetruck around a bit.  Some of these little friends really look like they are loving where they are.  One day at a time though, hanging out with your new friends in sobriety is less like riding a two wheeler than it is getting your driver’s license. Trust me, you will not be pining away for the sandbox of your old life.

Jane

You deserve to be treated with respect, and fed great food!

Salutation to the Dawn

Look to this day!
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your existence:

The bliss of growth
The glory of action
The splendour of beauty

For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow only a vision
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Look well, therefore to this day!

- Kalidasa, Indian Poet

A young Hindu man decided to go and visit his uncle, who lived in another village. His uncle’s village was on the other side of the valley, and was known for its abundance of snakes. The young man had not made the trip alone before, and was somewhat nervous about the snakes. He walked all through the day, reaching his uncle’s home just as night was falling. After his uncle greeted him, tired and dusty, the young man was invited to clean himself in the outdoor shower. As our friend leaned back his head into the stream of water, he stepped backwards onto a thick rope lying on the ground.

Yes, that is the whole story. People often look at me expectantly waiting for explanation. I love this little story, because it calls into challenge things we ‘know to be true’. How many times have we been so absolutely sure about something, because we ‘feel it in our bones’? This story illustrates how easily we can be deceived by our senses, and by our physical reactions. Imagine what would happen to your heart rate if you were the young man stepping on the rope? The true meaning of this story is that it is a Zen Koan, which means that there is no meaning. I hope this story stays with you, and that you share it with your friends.

Here’s the story:

When the Chinese invaded Tibet many Tibetan Buddhist monks and nuns were held captive. These peace-loving contempletive men and women were systematically tortured, abused and murdered. One monk, a prisoner for several years narrowly escaped through the mountains into India.  Soon after he gained freedom, the monk was interviewed  regarding his ordeal. One of the questions asked of him was this: “What was your greatest fear during your captivity?” His response, “I was afraid that I would stop loving my captors”.

Who are you choosing to not forgive today?

Swallowtail on a butterflybush at A Home Away.

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He descended a bit more and shouted to a man on the ground, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man on the ground below replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40 And 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”

“You must be a sponsor,” said the balloonist.

“I am,” replied the man, “how did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is, I believe, technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you’ve probably delayed my trip.”

The man below responded, “You must be a Sponsee.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect other people to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault!”

There is freedom to fly in treatment from gambling addiction

Addicts have suffered far too long and A Home Away allows them to relax, rejuvenate, and learn how to live a healthy sober/clean life.  I can only begin to tell you the amount of work that is put into this amazing addiction retreat centre.  I only hope this letter will make you see that its more than just a treatment centre, but truly a place away from home.  Once I finished my 91 day stay, I moved to Kelowna and have since visited this Home because I know I am always welcome for meals and sharing anything that’s going on with me.

Jane and John Derry are a marvelous pair who truly just want to help individuals like myself who may not have a home or have a healthy one to go back to.  I appreciate you taking the time to read this letter.

Sincerely,

BD, Kelowna